


The violin and the drums

by NessieKoizumi



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Drama & Romance, M/M, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 03:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20807648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NessieKoizumi/pseuds/NessieKoizumi
Summary: Akihiko first love wasn’t in the sound of the banging of the drum, nor he was that interested in the idea of playing in a band. He was losing his interest in music, he feels pathetic about himself, he’s miserable.





	The violin and the drums

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I hope you guys like it , might take it down because I feel like it’s kinda incomplete. I’m sorry if there are errors in the grammar and I’ll try to improve my writing. Other than that, thank you Kizu Natsuki sensei for all of her hardworks. 💓

Kaji Akihiko first love wasn’t in the sound of the banging of the drum, nor he was that interested in the idea of playing in a band. He was losing his interest in music, he feels pathetic about himself, he’s miserable. But the presence of a guy who was so scared , almost chaotic looking like it took a great deal of courage to ask him whether he’s carrying along a drum sticks, Akihiko simply nod. Finally letting out a breath of relief, Nakayama Haruki gave him a smile that Akihiko think is so precious, something he needs to cherish for all eternity, a childlike smile that signals a future he can dwell on. A soft tune of enjoyment playing in the background.

Growing up in a prestigious family doesn’t always mean you won’t have to face some sort of crisis. His days were pretty dull, bland if you asked him , it simply was about honing his skills. And although getting the first place during a violin competition isn’t actually a dream away but it wasn’t exactly an easy island for him to conquer. The appearance of a transfer student , whose presence is and will always be , the awakening of a storm in his mind, something was erupting , the very desire to feast , to take in all that this small body in front of him could offer, he wants him naked in all of his glory. He wants Ugetsu Murata. Akihiko’s very own classical musical. 

Sometimes Akihiko can’t help but to compare how different love can feel, how the frequency, the wave, how different the air seem to feel. How during his time with Ugetsu, even with all of those memories he loved and held dear to his heart; in the way Ugetsu used to nuzzle his head to his chest, how he’d be so spoiled and would sometimes be fed, how they’d played the violin together even if the differences in skill are getting farther and farther for Akihiko to reach, how different Ugetsu react when he gave him that mug, how they love but it feels like they are burning. The panic look, the sheer realisation that it’s getting harder for them to give in to the temptation, the domination that they both feel towards one another, how destruction and out of breathe they both actually were. Akihiko and Ugetsu were so in love but they don’t know how to divert it into something beautiful, they don’t know to sculpt it into a beautiful melodious memory, how the finishing touch of their story was tainted by constant mark of blood and taint feeling of doubt. It broke like the way Akihiko’s mug for Ugetsu, in pieces like no other. 

Learning how to love again wasn’t a walk in the park, Akihiko simply plays the role of a fool. He is aware that the guy that have asked him to join his band; though without an ulterior motive harbour some kind of affection for him. He’s not that airhead even if he looks like he barely shows interest in other , he actually takes pride in how Haruki had asked him to join the band. It wasn’t complete , but it was perfect, it was something. And with something, it can turn into something great, something he can brag about, something he can claim to be a part of, something that connects him to another, something other than the decaying violin he kept in his ever sinking bag. Akihiko wants to leave , and try a different kind of music. 

“Truth is I want to be saved.” 

Akihiko knows the time is ticking away, how the bumps keep on building up, the frequent of the hellos and goodbyes Ugetsu have muttered just keep on increasing. The way Akihiko still kiss and long for Ugetsu as if he’s still his own even when it left him with a bitter aftertaste, the body that was embraced by another, the presence that was accompanied , the Ugetsu that he loved , he loves, he will always love, he wants to unlove. How long will they still stay as the Aki and Ugetsu that was in the past before they turn into something unrecognisable. Akihiko stares down at the sleeping face of the guy in his embrace, how he should have let him go during his last recital, how they should have let each other go before all of this consume them. But knowing and actually doing are two different kinds of things. 

Haruki cuts his hair, the length of the hair that was once the symbolism of the feelings, the time he has spent, the idiotic remnant of love he once had for Akihiko. He still loves him, he still wants him, but enough is enough. He wouldn’t let these feelings roots any more deeper than it already has. He wouldn’t want to build a house on another’s land, on a sail that doesn’t want to be moved, on a decaying violin unable to be obtained nor thrown. He loves Akihiko, but not this way. The very words of him still plays like a broken record in his mind, how even if he says there’s nothing that can be changed. 

Who would have ever thought that the song sung by Mafuyu, the words Mafuyu brings into life would be the catalyst in taking a leap into an unknown future, cutting ties with a weakened lesson. Making sure that Haruki stays and wait for him, Akihiko makes his way, the heavy draining footstep, the farewell they never wanted, never dare to partake in. Calling out, perhaps for the last time, in love , in longing, in every essence of everything he once built with Ugetsu. The hand holding, the messy separation of their fingers , the sound of drums manifesting louder and louder, the melody from the violin sounding softer and softer, Akihiko said goodbye , Ugetsu bids his goodbye. The unbearable pain , the closing of the final opera.

“It’s okay. I’ll come back right away.”


End file.
